RETIREMENT BONUS

If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humour impaired!



The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early

retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a

bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two

points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would

be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his

head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with

a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be

measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out

with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a

grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured

replied,



'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'





It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,

explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had

received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing

the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.





The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he

did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's

weenie and began to work back.











"Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,











''Where are your testicles?''















The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam !''.




He got a lot of money!!